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Life's A Beach

by Death By Shotgun

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1.
I roll down the window and call out your name I look around but you’re not there It’s all in my head and it’s raining I roll back the window and stare I’ve started wearing my warmest clothes Novembers rolling around And you’re lying in a hospital bed Filling bottles, fireworks no sound I give myself a chance to breath Trapped in my skin im my own worst enemy And I do the same things, I make the same mistakes You say just forget about it But I don’t think of anything else I’m falling apart in my bedroom, I’m building walls around myself I feel the weight of a decision that you made When you left to make yourself happy I feel the weight of a person I never hoped id be And I do the same things, I make the same mistakes You say just forget about it But I don’t think of anything else I’m falling apart in my bedroom, I’m building walls around myself Scratch my throat and tear away my skin Revealing words to scared to say within
2.
Take a smoke, take a breath Breathe in deep till you feel it in the pit of your lungs Take a ride with the people you love to a place you don’t want to go Take my hand, I’ll let go of the wheel Steal my heart while we veer off the side of the road Take these thoughts from inside my head and throw them on the fire Say something, say something because I have nothing to say. I hate my brain but that’s ok Knowing that I get to see you at the end of the day I take a drink to medicate The thoughts inside my head You’ve been down for so long started taking its toll on your health I’ve been searching for someone to save me from myself I have a spare afternoon with nothing to do I don’t want to see anyone I don’t want to do anything I want to sit inside my room, sit and listen to something on the radio Sit inside my room, inside my room I will think of you Say something, say something because I have nothing to say I hate my brain but that’s ok Knowing that I get to see you at the end of the day I take a drink to medicate The thoughts inside my head Bury my head in the sand, head under water feel my lungs collapse
3.
Swap the doses that you’re taking, to make you feel alright We made a patchwork of paper napkins to stop the bleeding from your eye And you looked at me and you said I’m too drunk to drive But we’re half way home so let’s take it slow and we’ll make it back alive I want to pretend I’m having fun like on New Year’s Eve I numb my brain along with everyone until we part company Just shut up shut up I don’t want to see your face Shut up Shut up another year of my life has gone to waste It’s becoming clear that everything’s not quite the same Because you would change your mind and I, I wouldn’t feel a thing With a smokers heart and heavy breathing you’re fogging up my window I begin to trace your hand around mine I want to pretend I’m having fun like on New Year’s Eve I numb my brain along with everyone until we part company Just shut up shut up I don’t want to see your face Shut up Shut up another year of my life has gone to waste I’m flicking through my past mistakes Bookmark the bad ones and I rip out the whole page Reverse the words, rewire my brain And grasp for something tangible to make me feel better again I want to pretend I’m having fun like on New Year’s Eve I numb my brain along with everyone until we part company Just shut up shut up I don’t want to see your face Shut up Shut up another year of my life has gone to waste
4.
Surf's Up 03:11
Another year on and what have I done? What have I achieved? I settle my debts and run from everyone close to me And I’m holding back my anger and I’m choking on my lies My legs don’t seem to work and I don’t feel alive inside I just want to feel, I just want to feel alive Let’s stop pretending this will be ok and all of this might go away Let’s stop pretending this will be ok and all of this might go away I’ve been running in circles, I’ve been staying up late I’ve been drowning in my worry I’ve been bathing in self-hate I’ve been checking under the sofa for the remainder of my life I can’t remember where I left it, I can’t remember what is right I just want to feel, I just want to feel alive Let’s stop pretending this will be ok and all of this might go away Let’s stop pretending this will be ok and all of this might go away All these conversations and all these complications are messing with my head Its 12 o’clock and its cold outside and I can’t seem to find the time I’m just stuck in bed I just want to feel, I just want to feel alive Let’s stop pretending everything’s alright
5.
Repeat 02:23
I should speak my mind I should speak the truth I should see my friends And I should say that I forgive But I’m wrapped up in my worry whilst I’m wrapped up in your arms Pull the covers over my head return myself to dark Follow my feet to the place where I ought to be by now Spill your heart on my sleeve spill my beer on your shoes I’m struggling to breathe whilst I’m drowning in your living room And I’m falling over the pavement while I’m falling for your life Lie on my back and stare at the sky I can’t do anything right Repeat, Repeat, Repeat, Repeat Repeat the day over and over inside my head and ill repeat my name in the bathroom mirror toothpaste on my face Repeat the day over and over inside my head and ill repeat my name in the bathroom

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released August 30, 2017

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